The Library is a "Judgement-Free Zone": A True Story

Library workers often take note of regular patrons and try to understand and assist with their routines. Just as a top barista begins preparing a daily customer’s drink when they see that person enter the shop, good library staff are observant, remembering the preferences and habits of their frequent flyers.

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In 2020, I published a collection of true stories collected from library workers, patrons, and volunteers from all over the United States called Inspiring Library Stories: Tales of Kindness, Connection, and Community Impact. Today I’d like to share one of my favorite stories with you along with my commentary, the story is “Judgement-Free Zone” by Jen Park:

"While working in the public library I began to notice a family in the library whom I had not seen before. Each week they would wheel in their newborn twins and browse the DVD aisles — a tell-tale sign of new parenthood and the brutal hours kept due to feedings."

Library workers often take note of regular patrons and try to understand and assist with their routines. Just as a top barista begins preparing a daily customer’s drink when they see that person enter the shop, good library staff are observant, remembering the preferences and habits of their frequent flyers.

"I worked behind the Circulation desk and so would chat with them while they were checking out their materials and, even though they were generally asleep the whole time, gush over how sweet their new additions were. A new mom myself, I understood the experience and how life-changing the event truly is, but I also understood how ostracizing and exhausting it can be."

Interacting with patrons is one of the most rewarding, and sometimes emotionally difficult, experiences in library service. We empathize with patrons who have lost loved ones, won a competition, or, in this case, recently became parents. As a father of a three-year-old and six-month-old myself, this part of the story hits close to home.

"Noting the slumped shoulders, bags under the eyes, and robotic moves made to get through the library in order to find some movies, I began to tell them about our wonderful story time for children ages 0–24 months. At first they were dubious that this was for them, but each week they returned and asked me another question about story time: Was it noisy? Is it okay if the kids cry? What if you need to leave the room? Are there other babies?, etc."

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The fact is that while infants and young children can be difficult, it is sometimes the stares and comments of other adults that sting the most. For these new parents, life was hard enough already without also putting themselves into a potentially humiliating situation for nothing more than normal infant behavior. But Jen Park did what so many library workers do on a daily basis:

"I listened to their questions and understood their concerns: The underlying questions surrounded the fear of being judged. I leaned over the desk closer to them, looked at their tired, drawn faces, and said: “This is a judgment-free zone. You can make noise. The babies can cry. You can walk in and out and story time as you need. It’s a great place to meet other parents who are in the same boat as you. And we will never judge you.”

"The physical signs of stress diminished momentarily and sheer gratitude (mixed with exhaustion) took over as they simultaneously said two loaded words: “Thank you”.

There is often talk about libraries being “safe places,” a term that can mean different things to different people. Jen Park’s story illustrates how, through the kindness and understanding of one staff member, a couple of exhausted parents were introduced to a meaningful social and educational activity that is beneficial for babies and parents alike. All in a day’s work!

You can read more gooey tales of library goodness in Inspiring Library Stories: Tales of Kindness, Connection, and Community Impact, which is available for purchase through HINCHAS Press and many other fine retailers.